


Salt and the Sea

by ObliqueOptimism



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Mentions of Eating Disorders, Not Beta Read, Sober Klaus Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 04:16:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21505066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObliqueOptimism/pseuds/ObliqueOptimism
Summary: After more than a decade of homelessness and drug abuse, it's not a surprise Klaus' appetite ended up beyond wrecked, and his body showed it. It's not like he was ever that great at taking care of himself anyway.Five decides to fix that
Comments: 83
Kudos: 1135
Collections: Klaus Hargreeves





	Salt and the Sea

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to remus for both the idea and the summary. much more fluffy than my previous fic! i'm very happy with how this came out. also! can you tell i love breakfast foods? because i do. 
> 
> y'all there is mention of eating disorders but not actual eating disorder, but if this is triggering then be careful and safe!

Five first made the realization shopping for new clothes. He hated that he was stuck in his 13 year old body and had to not only shop for a wardrobe, but had to shop in the _boys section_. 

Klaus meanwhile, was more than pleased.

Five rolled his eyes fondly as he watched his sibling hold shirts up to his chest, grinning at how much midriff would be showing. He looked less fond and more worried when he saw that Klaus was trying on the boy’s pants and wearing them like capris. And he was wearing a size smaller than Five, himself, was. 

Was Klaus that thin?

For once, he _really_ looked Klaus over. His hair was longer, ringlets bouncing around his face, looking healthy. His skin had a glow to it, also looking nice and healthy. Both could be attributed to Klaus’s new found sobriety. He was better now, and it showed. 

However, his cheekbones were sharp, collarbones jutted out. Even his fingers looked too thin. Long and elegant and _boney_. When Klaus turned around, Five could see his spine through the tight shirt. 

Five was aware that not too long ago Klaus was basically homeless. Which would make it difficult to find a meal everyday, let alone a nutritional one. He’d also been a drug addict and Klaus had already mentioned that drugs stole your appetite. 

Five decided he’d have to secretly help Klaus gain some weight as he watched him do pirouettes while wearing the capris to see their stretch and give. Klaus finished his pirouette with a bright grin to Five, “Ha! Ben just lost the five dollar bet!” He then turned to the side, “What? No. You can’t borrow five dollars to give me five dollars! It would be my money! Five! Tell him!”

Five would have to pay attention and see if Klaus had an eating disorder. It wouldn't be unheard of for someone getting sober to need something to control, like their diet. They can’t control their cravings but they can control the intake of their food. Not only that, it could make them feel like they are doing something right in their life. See? No drugs anymore, no food anymore. Unlike before, they are now in complete control of their life.

And if Klaus didn’t have an eating disorder, he didn’t want to cause one by quietly making sure Klaus ate. The control factor here as well. If someone stuck their nose in Five’s business, trying to regulate when he ate, he wouldn’t appreciate it. He would fight them and not want to listen. Deliberately going against their wishes.

He would have to keep it low key.

When they let the store and entered the main walkway of the mall, Five thought it was a good time to start with his plan. “Let’s get some of those soft pretzels.” He started walking to the pretzel outlet, not waiting for Klaus to respond. 

“Do you want cheese to dip yours in?” Five asked when Klaus caught up beside him. He’d already ordered two pretzels. They were larger than he expected. 

“I’ve never had these so, sure? I’ll try it,” Klaus shrugged.

“You’ll like it,” Five declared, making sure they both got cheese to dip their soft pretzels in. Five once had to kill someone who worked at one of these places. Somewhere in Texas. He was surprised at how good they were. 

Five knew he was going against the plan, making Klaus’s decision for a pretzel, forcing the pretzel on him, but he figured it was one pretzel. They were in a mall. If this tipped Klaus into an eating disorder he would be surprised. But he couldn’t make a habit of it.

“Wow,” Klaus said, licking the cheese off the pretzel, “this is really good.”

“You are supposed to eat them together, in the same bite,” Five said, taking a bite of his.

Klaus shrugged, “But I like it like this.” He licked all the cheese and salt off the end before he bit into the actual pretzel.

Five sighed. As long as Klaus was eating he wasn’t going to complain.

Later, after they got home and after Klaus didn’t eat much at their evening meal, saying he was still pretty full from the pretzel, Five did some research.

What would help Klaus gain weight, keep him healthy. He also found out that his stomach had probably shrunk from not eating right for about a decade. There was a surgery people could get that made their stomach smaller. They were supposed to have six small meals a day. 

Five didn’t think he could manage to get Klaus to eat six small meals a day.

He did stock up on some weight gain items, meal replacers, snacks and similar the next time he went grocery shopping for the house. He probably shouldn’t try to pack on the pounds too fast, Klaus would notice if he suddenly gained so much weight so quickly and would think something was wrong.

Five realized his plan was harder than he thought it would be as he hid all the food foor Klaus behind cans of food that they didn’t tend to use. He didn’t want Diego or Luther to see the supplements and either use them or come to their own conclusions.

Five decided he needed to calm down about this. He was going overboard. He just needed to make sure Klaus ate at least one meal a day. He shouldn’t make this his new obsession. That wouldn’t end well for him or Klaus.

But then the next morning Klaus came to breakfast in a skirt and his military vest. No shirt.

Five could count his ribs.

And he was just grabbing coffee.

“I’m making omelettes,” Five said, getting up and turning on the stove. “Sit.”

Klaus smirked, “Okay!” He then sat on the counter next to the stove. “I don’t like onion.”

“Noted.”

Klaus clapped as Five flipped the omelette easily, “Impressive! Not even osso buco guy could do that. He always fucked up omelettes. And his hard boiled eggs always had a soft yoke.” He turned his head for a second, “The fuck is a soft boiled egg?”

Five snorted, plating up the omelette, “It's like a hard boiled egg, only with a soft yoke.”

“Huh,” Klaus grabbed a fork and took a bite. “At least I know you didn’t poison this.”

Five started and omelette for himself, “I wouldn't poison you.”

“Cyanide tastes like bitter almonds.”

Five’s brows furrowed, “Has someone poisoned you?”

“I’m well versed in poisons,” Klaus shrugged. “This is really good, Five. Like, wow. So fluffy.”

“Thank you.”

The next morning Klaus jumped on the counter, and gave Five an expectant look as he walked in, “Do you know how to do those fluffy japanese pancakes?”

Five blinked sleepily. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Klaus pouted. 

“Give me a minute and I’ll look it up,” Five would gladly look them up. If Klaus managed to let Five feed him he wasn’t going to dismiss his ideas. Five poured a cup of coffee and then took out the smart phone Allison gave him the other day. Looking up a how-to he watched as Klaus started to kick his heels against the lower cupboards while talking to Ben.

They weren’t as fluffy as they should be. Five was ready to throw them out and try again when Klaus reached out and grabbed the plate, “Thanks, Five-0! You’re the best.”

The next morning Klaus was not waiting for Five. So Five fixed some toast and actual hard boiled eggs along with some bacon. By the time he was done Klaus still hadn’t shown. Just because he’d waited the day before didn’t mean Klaus realized Five would feed him breakfast everyday, but it had almost seemed as if he had. 

Putting the food on a tray, he jumped to just outside of Klaus’s room. 

His door was cracked open and he heard Klaus talking to Ben, “--come on, first it’s totally too late in the morning and also it’s not like Five wants me bothering him every morning. Just because I amused him once or twice doesn’t mean I’m welcome. Best not to push him too much. Yeah, I can just eat later. You’ll have to remind me though, okay boo?”

“You’ll eat now,” Five pushed the door open with his shoulder. 

Klaus was half under his bed. Five could see one arm and his face. The rest was under his bed. 

They blinked at each other.

“Ben says you’ve brought me an actual hard boiled egg,” Klaus didn’t move.

Five put the tray down in front of Klaus on the floor, “Cooking breakfast for one is annoying. Cooking for two is less annoying.”

Klaus poked at the yoke of his egg, testing it out, “We aren’t the only two who live in the house?”

“So?”

Klaus glanced up then, “Huh.”

“While I now know cyanide tastes like bitter almonds, arsenic has no flavor,” FIve commented dryly. 

“Oh good. Then my egg won’t taste weird,” Klaus wagged his eyebrows before shoving the half of the egg in his mouth.

“You are disgusting,” Five said. “If you eat while laying down you may choke and die.”

“I like the odds. Choke because I swallowed wrong or arsenic. Ben, which one will get me?” Klaus glanced to the bed. 

When it became clear Klaus wasn’t going to get out from under his bed, Five went and got a straw before putting it in the juice he’d brought. “We don’t want you to dump the juice on yourself and then drown in the puddle. That wasn’t on the lotto.”

Klaus sniggered, “Of course.”

The fourth morning Klaus was downstairs again. Only this time so was Luther.

Five gave Klaus a look, “French toast?”

“Yummy in my tummy,” Klaus agreed.

Luther watched them, looking back and forth as Klaus watched Five mix the egg batter and told him to make sure he added vanilla. “Do I get some?”

“I will actually poison yours,” Five said, pointing the whisk at him. “Rat poison.”

“Oh don’t be a sourpuss,” Klaus said. “Just add some more eggs. You can cook for three.”

“He can cook for himself,” Five argued.

“And I can’t?” Klaus’s tone was light.

“Probably, but who says you actually will,” Five reached past him for the cinnamon.

It was silent for a length of time.

“Is that why you’re doing this?” Klaus’s voice had a hint of _something_ Five couldn’t place.

“I think I’ll get Griddy’s,” Luther said, leaving the room quickly.

Five looked at Klaus as the french toast sizzled in the pan. He was waiting patiently for a response. But Five couldn’t read the look on his face. He’d have to play this carefully. It hadn’t taken long for him to be called out, he should have been more stealthy. Like he’d first planned. He hadn’t even used any of the weight gain items he’d purchased.

“You wear smaller clothes than me!” Five exclaimed when he couldn’t think of a way to explain it. 

Klaus pointed at the pan, “You have to flip that. I don’t like burnt french toast.”

Five did as he was told before looking back to his sibling. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Klaus shrugged. “I mean, you're not wrong. I don’t-- Five my body and mind are fucked from the drugs. I don’t feel hungry, yknow? Rarely. And there are times I get light headed and I realize I haven't eaten in over a day.”

“Klaus--” Five started.

“Ben sometimes reminds me, but like, he’s super dead so he doesn’t feel hungry either. It slips past both of us sometimes. So like, if you want to feed me I’m down to clown.” Klaus pointed at the pan, “It’s done.”

Five plated the food and handed it over, “You’re okay with this?”

Klaus shrugged, “Sure? Like, go for it, my dude. I know I need to eat more and my mind is like a vase that has been shot with a shotgun so it doesn’t hold anything anymore. It’s almost a relief if you help me out.”

“Oh.”

“I reserve the right to not always eat. Sometimes I do remember on my own and will be full or like nauseous from residual withdrawal.,” Klaus waved his fork in the air before taking a bite.

“That’s fair,” Five agreed.

And so they discussed a few more bits of information. What Klaus does and doesn’t like, how Five was only allowed to take over one meal a day. Don’t force him, don’t make a big deal out of it, don’t exclude others if they want some french toast too, Luther could have ate some if he wanted!

From there they often shared a breakfast, not every morning, but often. Sometimes Five asked Klaus for his opinion, but often Five just made what he felt like. 

He’d gotten good at fluffy pancakes.

Then he started bringing Klaus some food at other times. A little chocolate bar on family night, a popcorn ball he’d made, muffins from the local bakery at a family meeting.

“Ooh! Is this lemon poppyseed?” Klaus reached into the bag.

“You seem to like lemon,” Five shrugged.

“Don’t we get one?” Diego pointed, “I want one. Give it here, Klaus.”

Klaus hugged the bag to his chest, “It’s mine! Get your own!”

“Five, why did you get him one? Bring one for everyone or not at all!” Diego glared.

Five sipped his coffee and stared blankly at Diego, “No.”

“What?”

Luther put a hand on Diego’s shoulder, “Ignore them.”

“He’s being a little bitch!” Diego argued. He reached towards Klaus, “At least give me half.”

“You touch him or the muffin you die,” Five growled.

Klaus instead shoved the whole muffin in his mouth.

“I hope you choke and die,” Diego muttered.

Klaus muttered something back but his mouth was full of muffin yet. 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Five sighed.

A muffled _sorry_ came next.

“Why does he get a muffin!” Diego yelled a few minutes later, interrupting the family meeting. 

“I like him more than I do you,” Five glared.

Klaus preened.

“I’ll explain later,” Luther said, using his best Number One voice.

Honestly Five was almost surprised Diego hadn’t picked up on the breakfasts. But the whenever Diego did stay at the mansion he usually slept in, having been up late as a vigilante. He had brunches more than breakfasts. 

Not Five’s problem.

A month in and Five couldn’t find his favorite pair of pants. He could have sworn they were clean. He’d seen their mom do laundry the day before. Sighing, he went down to make breakfast. He would look later, he didn’t want Klaus to get distracted and wander off.

Only when he entered the kitchen Klaus was doing a tour en l’air jump on the counter he usually sat on. When he was done he smirked at the empty but pulled out chair, “Ha! Now fork over the ten dollars. No you can’t borrow seven dollars!”

“Those are my pants,” Five blinked. 

Klaus turned to him, “Oh yeah. Because of your feeder kink nothing else fits. Take me shopping later, Five-0. We’ll get pretzels!”

“I do not have a feeder kink!” Five yelled.

Klaus snickered and sat down. “Ben can buy me a clearance item. Since he owes me ten bucks.”

“Ben’s dead. He doesn’t have any money,” Five said, getting ready to make waffles.

“ _Apparently_ he has three dollars,” Klaus shrugged. “Hey, off topic but can Ben borrow seven dollars from you?”

Five rolled his eyes and ignored them. (“What do you mean it’s more like eight dollars?!”) At this point it was easy to ignore the bickering as he made breakfast. He would of course take Klaus shopping for new clothes, not only did he want his pants back but a little positive reinforcement wouldn’t go amiss. 

“Be sure to add the strychnine,” Klaus whispered in his ear.

“Oh of course,” Five said as he added chocolate chips to the batter. “We mustn't forget to poison you.”

**Author's Note:**

> obliquetoptimism @ tumblr


End file.
